I think I'm losing it

Time to change the way i live my life before life changes the way i live.

Slow going

Shouldn’t I be happy?

Well since my last blog I’ve lost 2lbs, one this week and one last week. So I should be happy right? I mean, I’ve lost weight three weeks running and I haven’t done that since last September! And a loss is a loss right? So why do I feel so damned frustrated? I have worked so hard to lose the weight over the last three weeks, week one I lose 3lbs which was great, I was really pleased with that. But the last two weeks I have been just as good but only lost a pound each week. I know I should be losing more, probably 2lbs if not 3lbs a week, so why can’t I achieve this? I so desperately want to lose the weight, I still feel completely hideous, I feel people are looking at me with disgust and still have little confidence even though I’ve lost 2.5 stone. All these feelings are crap and I really want to feel better about myself. People don’t understand that it’s easy to say “do this do that”, especially when it’s easy for them, but it’s not as simple as they think and to be honest they will probably never know what it’s like either.

I know one day I’ll look back on this blog and remember how I felt when I was overweight, one thing will certainly come from me being fat, I’ll always be there for anyone who wants to lose weight, it’s very important to encourage and support people who feel like I do now. That’s why I’m so grateful for the support I get from everyone at the 5.30 group and others via Facebook, and why I do my very best to return the support.

On Tuesday there were a number of suggestions , most were very helpful thank you, one was to have more syns, this is something I am trying this week, now this should be very easy. well you would think, but actually it’s far from easy. My whole body and mind tells me not to eat the extra syns, and the fear is that i eat too much and end up gaining weight this week. So I’m not convinced this will work. Exercise is another way to go, this is something I need to concentrate on over the next few months, but to be honest I should still be able to lose 2-3lbs a week without exercising.

It gets so frustrating and annoying when things don’t go the way you plan, and to be fair the last 4 months have been like that, that’s why I am so fed up with not losing more. But when you look at it another way, 5lbs in three weeks is good, so like always I guess I just need to dig a little deeper. Actually I would be happy to lose 7lbs a month for the next 12 months!

Anyway, it’s nice to see the Tuesday 5.30 group starting to fill up with new and old members, it’s been a little sparse in recent weeks but it’s starting now to look like the group of old. Funny but I was sat there on Tuesday thinking it’s funny we are at Slimming World where we are all trying to lose weight, yet we are all sat on chairs deigned to 5-11 years olds. I remember the day I walked into the group, Kate said come and sit down, I stood there looking at a chair that was smaller than my right butt cheek. I thought as soon as I sit on that it will collapse under me. Well needless to say it didn’t, but now every time I go to sit on one of the chairs I always think of that day. Fortunately the chairs seem to be SLOWLY getting bigger now!!! :)

No new recipes this week, I do have a plan to try a few new recipes in the next week or so though.

Keep slimming, never give up!

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